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Buffy : "How do you get renowned? I mean, like, do you have to be nowned first?"
Willow : "Yes, first there is the painful nowning process."
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Buffy : "I can't wait 'til mom gets the bill for these books...I hope it's a funny aneurysm."
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Buffy : "You know, this store discriminates against short people."
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Riley : "I'm sorry, I forgot my manners in all this concussion. I'm Riley."
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[Re: psychology being fascinating]
Buffy : "Yeah, you know, cuz everyone's got a brain...or almost everyone."
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[Joyce has used Buffy's bedroom for storage]
Buffy : "If it's still my room, shouldn't I be able to fit in it?"
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Xander : "Well, I saw the movie, 'Grand Canyon', on cable. Really lame."
Buffy : "Huh?"
Xander : "Basically I got as far as Oxnard and the engine fell out of my car, and that was literally. So I ended up washing dishes at the fabulous ladies night club for about a month and a half while I tried to pay for the repairs. No one really bothered me or even spoke to me until one night when one of the male strippers called in sick, and no power on this earth will make me tell you the rest of that story. Suffice to say I traded my car in for one that wasn't entirely made of rust, came trundling back home into the arms of my loving parents where everything was exactly as it was except I sleep in the basement and I have to pay rent. How's college?"
Buffy : "Male strippers?"
Xander : "No power on this earth."
Buffy : "Ok. College is good."
Xander : "Ok, uh, once more with even less feeling."
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Xander : "And you're sitting here alone at The Bronze looking as if you've just been diagnosed with cancer of the puppy."
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Xander : "Buffy, this is all about fear. It's understandable, but you can't let it control ya. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to anger. No wait, hold on. Fear leads to hate. Hate leads to the dark side. Hold on, no. Ummm...first you get the women, then you get the money, then you...ok, can we forget that?"
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Xander : "And nothing says 'thank you' like dollars in a waistband."