[After Buffy tells Willow about her mother showing up on patrol]
Willow : "God, your mom would actually take the time to do that with you?"
[glare from Buffy]
Willow : "That really wasn't the point of the story, was it?"
Willow : *cough cough* "Sorry, phlem. Too much...dairy."
Xander : "Buffy, hi."
Buffy : "Hey, is Willow around?"
Xander : "How can I convince you people that it's over? You assume because I'm here, she's here. That I somehow mysteriously know where she is."
Buffy : "Those her books?"
Xander : "Yeah, she's in the bathroom. But the fact that I know that doesn't change that I have a genuine complaint here. Look, I'm gettin' sick of the judgment, the innuendos. Is a man not innocent until proven guilty?"
Buffy : "You are guilty. You got it with the smoochies; gonna have to pay the price."
Xander : "I'm talking about the future guilt. Look, everyone expects me to mess up again. Like Oz. I see how he is around me. You know, that steely gaze, that pointed silence."
Buffy : "'Cause he's usually such a chatterbox."
Xander : "No, but it's different now. It's more a verbal non-verbal. He speaks volumes with his eyes."
Willow : "A doodle. I do doodle. You too. You do doodle too."
Xander : "Oh man. It's Nazi Germany, and I've got Playboys in my locker."
Principal Snyder : "Oh, I should say it's just the beginning. Fight it if you want. Just remember, lift a finger against me and you'll have to answer to MOO."
Buffy : "Answer to MOO? Did that sentence just make some sense that I'm not in on?"
Xander : "Frisky watchers' chatroom...why Giles!"
Buffy : "Yeah, it's all falling into place. Of course, that place is nowhere near this place."
Xander : "Whoa, I'm still spinning on this whole fairy tales are real thing."
Oz : "So, what do we do?"
Xander : "I don't know about you, but I'm going to trade my cow in for
beans. No one else is seeing the funny here."
Cordelia : "I swear, one of these times you're going to wake up in a coma."
[Amy turns herself into a rat]
Buffy : "She couldn't do us first?"
Willow : "You've seen what we can do. Another step and you will all feel my power."
Buffy : "What are you going to do? Throw a pencil at them?"
Willow : "It's a really big power."
Buffy : "Yes, you will all be turned into vermin. And some of you will be fish. You in the back, will be fish."
[Re: the demon]
Cordelia : "Okay, I think I liked the two little ones more than the one big one."
[Re: Amy, now a rat]
Buffy : "Maybe we should get her one of those little wheel thingies."