The pain slowly rose in Willow's throat as she closed her eyes. She could barely swallow as she struggled to keep her hands from trembling. She tried to take deep breaths, but only managed to inhale short bursts of air. Finally Willow just gave in. Tears flowed freely from her eyes as she leaned back against one of the pillows on the bed she and Tara had shared. Images flashed through her mind of some of the happier times she and her girlfriend had shared together. Willow remembered the night she brought an extra flamey candle to Tara's room to give to her as a feeble excuse to visit her fellow Wiccan. When Tara realized that Willow had chosen her over Oz, her face was filled with happiness and desire. Next Willow saw Tara's look of gratitude when she had told Tara how proud she was of her girlfriend for being the woman she is after years of male oppression in her family. Willow then visualized Tara's smiling face after they fed each other cake at Buffy's birthday party last year. Her tears slowed as she lastly recalled Tara's recent visit. Just as she was accepting and dealing with the fact that she had abused magick, and that her relationship with Tara suffered because of it, Tara had wanted her back. The feelings of excitement, longing, and happiness culminated in a kiss that Willow would never forget. Willow instinctively reached her hand out to the right, only to find the pillow that Tara had last laid her head upon. Reality came crashing back and Willow pulled the pillow to her chest. She breathed in her lover's scent that still lingered on the fabric, buried her face in it, and sobbed.